Perry at the Priory
In the summer of 2004 Pericles the Decoy Duck spent a month in The Priory to get over his worm and bird seed addiction.
This blog was originally set up to chronicle his experiences and the inevitable escape attempts.
However, it refuses to die.
The Characters
Pericles - Our Hero
Ron - a Lemming, Pericles's roommate
Bob - a discontented lizard
Dai - a Llama
Schrondinger - a Cat, Dai's roommate
Hermione - a Peking Duck
Thaisa - a Duck, Perry's sometime girlfriend
Doris - a Turkey, Matron at The Priory
Skippy - a dodgy Kangeroo
Sandi- a Great Dane
and
Ethel - a duckling who claims to be the fruit of Perry's loins
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Day 25
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The toilet's still backed up so Ron and I are having to use the Gent's at the end of corridor. I was in there this morning, 'studying' for my Book Group, when some kind soul slid today's paper under the cubicle door.The headline read "My Bird Seed Hell - Perry's Priory anguish". Beneath it was an old photo of me taken with a couple of chicks at The Coop (my favorite nightclub). According to the story I was sent here after being found unconscious in my 'Love Nest' having overdosed on bird seed and tequila worms. Since being here I have apparently been involved in illicit liaisons with two geese and a ruddy duck. I have also allegedly participated in drug-fuelled orgies with a variety of small rodents and several other water fowl.
Hermione has betrayed me.
I feel such a fool.
I've since discovered that Ron suspected this might happen which was why he was so anxious to check out Hermione. He's come across her before. A few years ago, she pulled a similar scam on a friend of his, a gerbil who was involved with a big Hollywood film star at the time.
Ron says that, by comparison I got off lightly.
I'm just trying to work out how to explain all of this to Thaisa.
posted at 3:56 AM
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